Introducing... Chip and Dale

Walking past the Salvation army shop today who did I see but these two little guys!
I collect Japanese ceramic animals, especially the ones with real animal fur.
They look so cute all grouped together.
Pride of my collection is a ceramic piggy bank, the kind where you have to smash to get the money out. It's a wonder that any survived at all!

Our world will never be the same again

It has been a very strange week.
This time last week I was gathered round the nearest Television set watching in horror as Christchurch dissolved into a pile of rubble and dead bodies.
We have had a charmed life here in paradise, we watch with a sense of disconnection when disasters happen in far off countires, but we just couldnt ignore this.
A 6.3 earthquake, in the same place as the 7.1 eathquake in September. All the builduings that proudly withstood that shake came tumbling down, taking with them approx 250 people.
All just like me, on their lunch break, in offices or on buses.

My first thought was for Alex - he lives there. He texted straight back, his house was all but destroyed but he was ok.
Then Andy - his parents live there. He jumped straight into a car and drove the few hundered km's to calm down his poor mum.
My ex boyfriend is a building inspector and was there assesing buildings damaged by the last quake. He is fine, but I can only imagine the things he will have to do in the next few weeks.

So thats us here in NZ - we are all touched by this terrible disaster.
Everything fades into unimportance.

Overcommitted?

EEK,
Its been a long time since I dated properly, and it seems Im quite good at it.
Who would have thought?

So I have two men that I like from internet dating, and that should have been enough..
Oh no, I had to go push my luck and try speed dating again.
I love speed dating, I did it a few years ago and realised that it was my calling. So a few months ago i agreed to go with an aquaintance of mine.
Of course I didnt know then that I would have been so effectively internet dating. But I decided not to let her down ( and forfeit my fee) and do it anyway.
So I went, had a ball, and met three nice men that I "matched" with.
Now what do I do?
I cant date 5 men - thats just greedy.

I think I have decided to date Andy, properly - he is the internet one, as we have a good physical connection, lots in common and he interests me intensely.
The others, although I really like them and there are a couple I find very attractive will just have to be friends.
Gosh darn it.. Its a famine or a feast isnt it?
I suppose there are worse problems to have!

Internet Dating is a state of mind... Tips for the uninitiated

So Ive been internet dating for the past three weeks.
I have been down this road a couple of times before, and was hesitant about trying it again.
I hated every single moment of it last time, I can truly say there was not one positive thing I got out of it, well, maybe a couple of free lunches..
I had men who I liked but didn't like me back, I had men who looked nothing like their picture, I had Ceroc dancers.

But this time - it couldnt be more different.
I have had an absolute ball.
I have two lovely lovely men vying for my time and attention, I have had compliments, smiles galore and everyone I have met have been everything they promised.
And no penis pictures.

So whats changed?
My mind.
The first time I was looking for a husband, the one man who would complete me. There was so much riding on these dates that no wonder the poor buggers jumped the fence before the horse was even out of the gate.
I also made the cardinal mistake of getting into "email relationships", you know, messaging lots and lots, creating a huge false expectation of who this person is, that when you meet them they cant do anything but disappoint you.
So my top tips for successful internet dating?

• Approach the subject a little lightheartedly.. you are looking for some dates, is all. Dont put pressure on yourself, or them.
• Meet FAST.. three or four emails tops then ask them if they would like to meet.
• Put your best photo up, but not one that is airbrushed and looks nothing like you. I have canvassed men and they get really cross if the picture doesnt match the face. False advertising. It would be a wonderful world if looks didnt matter, but they do.
• The first time you meet a man it is not a date, it is a "meet", no pressure, no expectations, just you meeting a real person.
• Dont go out for dinner on your first meet - go somewhere that you can make excuses to leave from easily, and that there will not be that whole "who pays" debacle.
• Look lovely and be lovely, this is first impression time. Dont say a bad word about anything, laugh a lot, flirt a little, if you look like you are having fun they will think you are fun.
• Dont tell them everything at first, men love a little mystery.
• Try and think about how the man is feeling, they are just as nervous as you!

Have fun and be safe out there
xx

Dating dilemmas..

Sorry about the lack of postings, seems I may have launched myself back into the dating scene a little too effectively...
My time has been taken up by fitting in dates from the internet.
I am not doing quite as well as my nubile younger friend with the professionally taken photos, however I am holding my own so far.
I have discovered that interent dating is all well and good when you are at the meet em once and figure out if there is a spark, but then, if there is.. it starts getting ethically murky.

So I met a guy, cute, same star sign, enough things in common to click, enough things different to have a spark.
We arranged a second date at the end of the first date and had a lovely time, bit of kissing, nothing too saucy, lots of sweet text messages etc etc.
So now what?
Does this mean I am "taken" and must commit to solely dating? It seems kiwi men dont like the idea of multiple dating - but I feel its too soon to know whether I want this guy to be my boyfriend.
He however has taken himself off the dating site  -  he hasnt told me this, I found out when I clicked onto his profile.
I however have arranged a "meet" for tonight with someone else.
Does that make me a hussy?
I framed up this date by stating in a message that i had started seeing someone but didnt know where it was going, but would like to meet him anyway as he sounded lovely.
He sounded like he had a few reservations but wanted to meet me anyway.
So question number two is How up front should I be about this stuff? Do I just assume the fall back position is everyone is multiple dating unless told otherwise?
Help me guys...

Whats in it for me??

My question for today is this..

Do we ever do anything out of the kindness of our heart?
Really?

Remember summer romance Alex? Back in post 2?
I have been doing him a favour for the past two weeks.
I thought I had convinvced myself that it was completely alturistic of me, done for no other reason than for his benefit and the benefit of mankind in general..
Then yesterday I had to admit to myself that, if I was truly honest with myself, I am really doing this so that he will think I'm the most fantastic person he has ever met, fall instantly in love and marry me.
Which is of course insane.
He lives in another city, I dont know him, he is the wrong star sign.... the list goes on.
But we are all a little bit insane.
If I look at why I do anything, even things for my own child, or my parents, there is always a "buy in" for me, even if its just to make me feel good, or to get someone off my back.

It's a horrible little part of us that makes it all about me, me, me, what's in it for me. I would love to exorcise it.
But for now I think I will take a good hard look at it, and see it for what it is.. unhelpful.
I will tuck it away, right at the back of my mind, and try to focus on helping this almost stranger, who I will probably never see again, and try and build up the RIGHT reasons, one by one.

Boys.. Things you should know..

.. about where to pick up a girl.

Dancing

Men dont dance anymore. Now I dont mean bouncing around a dancefloor with your mates on a Friday night, lurching round trying to get a good look down some girls top.
I mean proper dancing, partner dancing.
Have you ever been swing dancing? or salsa? or even good old ballroom dancing. Its HOT.
I belong to a swing club (gotta be careful who you tell that to and in what context) and the main reason I joined was because of the social nights at a local bar.
You walk in to the strains of Glen Miller et al and you are transported back. To a time when men are dressed like men, not boys, who come up, take your hand and throw you round the dancefloor- then buy you a drink.
Its sexy, its fun and its guarenteed to get you laid boys.
There is a ratio of about 10 girls to every 1 boy, and even the not so hot boys are in demand all night long.
You do the math.

Gay Clubs

Every gay man has at least one best girlfriend. Who gets dragged week by week to the local gay bar.
Whilst her friend is doggedly making his way round the tonsils of every single man in the club what is she doing?
Gagging for just a scrap of male attention, thats what. Its fun being able to dance with no inhibitions for about the first 30 minutes. Then it slowly dawns on her that she is as invisible as a geek at a star trek convention.
Apart from the odd boy who will come up and say "gosh girl you are so dammed cute" but before the sentence is even out he is making eye contact with the Jude Law look alike behind you.

Last week I spent the entire night dancing with the sole straight man in the club, he wasn't my type, in a normal world I wouldnt have registered him, but he was there, attentive, and straight.
It's an untapped market guys.

Sewing Class

Now I know this one is a bit of a stretch, but the classes I have been to...
12 women, all around 20-30, not one man.
Imagine..
You are the sole man. You dont know how to sew. Are women not by nature rescuers?
All of a sudden you will have 12 women falling over themselves to show you how to overlock your seams.
You just need a really good reason to be there, a manly reason.
I cant think of one right now.

Damn.