We have been friends for 4 years.
Over that time I have seen you date the entire workforce of a certain company, advised you on whether it is a good idea to flirt with a teenage nursing student, and defended your honour to a exorbitent amount of annoyed women.
So ya know, we have history.
I like you, I respect you, I feel your pain honey.
Thats why I am doing this, with little or no anger in my heart (well maybe an aorta or two.)
You know I try to live by Buddhist principles. I know that confuses the hell out of you. But this time, they saved your butt.
The one that has always confused me is "all the suffering in the world comes from cherishing yourself, all the happiness in the world comes from cherishing others".
This is fab if we are talking the girl at the supermarket checkout, or the little old lady crossing the road, but in relationships? Does that not mean doormat time? "patiently"accepting your bad behaviour with an angelic little sigh?
So this is what i have been thinking.
I love my kid. I love my cat.
If my kid decided he really wanted to stick a firecracker up my cats behind, would I let him? Because I cherish him?
Likewise, would I let you run around town with only your underpants on?
So if we follow that little convoluted pathway, why on earth should I allow you to continue to treat me in the way you are.
It is not good for me, Its not good for you. Its not good for your reputation, our friends, or the future of mankind.
So it's going to stop.
I am cherishing you by removing myself from your world.
Because a doormat has no power to help anyone, all a doormat can do is get more and more angry until one day she wears herself out with all that stomping on.
About the underpants... maybe one little lap around the waterfront on a Saturday night...
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Second Base Hussy
The moment Matt embued me with this mantle I just knew it would make a great Blog title.
Lets zip back a bit and I will tell you a little about my journey thus far, and why I am embracing my new found Hussyness.
So I am single, perpetually it seems like. Not because Im not attractive, not because Im mean, unkind or otherwise personality defective.
I am growing more aware of why, and you know what? Im fine with it, I wouldnt have swapped the past few years for all the men in the world (well, maybe Alan Rickman).
So now, 2011, my 37th year looms and I am excited.
I have found my oomph, my kapow, and I am about to unleash it on New Zealand.
It started with Norm, sorry I know its a naff nom de plume, but really - he deserves it.
This boy has been a long term, crying on each others shoulder friend, he comes with a rap sheet as long as the Amazon river and a string of broken hearts floundering in his wake.
So of course, at the end of last year that little self destruct button dwelling in my breast piped up with "me, me, try hurting me for a change" and before I know it we are embarking on a journey of sillyness.
He was clever.... Hit me with " Ive always been in love with you, lets get married and have 2.5 kids".
As I was reeling from this, simultaneously naming our children and making plans to flee to Sth America, he turns tack.
Spanning the range of ignoring.. beginning with not answering the phone right up to not returning texts.
So I had a choice. Now for a bit of context, this is not the first, second or even third time I have been in this situation. So I did something different for a change.
I dumped his ass, before he could dump mine.
Via Facebook email!
Kapow..
So fast forward to a 3 week holiday in the sun, a roadie with my gay BFF Matt.
He happens to be a therapist so we had a weepy, exultant, intense trip. Processing to the max.
We even had a theme song.
And just like a beautiful butterfly, the new Miss G emerged.
Enter Alex...
Hot, sweet, successful, and guess what? Into me!
He lives in a different city so I didnt have to do the whole "How am I going to turn this into a relationship" thing. I could just enjoy his company and the thrill of the moment.
Dont you love campervan holidays? Matt was passed out in mine, Alex's mate in his.
So we did what any self respecting thirtysomething would... made out in the grass, like teenagers, for 2 hours.
Hence Second Base Hussy.
Then on the way home, Matt and I went out in my home town. This is deserving of a blog post all to itself really, but to be brief...
Bumped into my old crush, he broke my 17 yr old heart by dumping me for a blonde hippy.
He was still lovely, sweet, long brown hair.
This time though, completely into me. I didnt want to push the Hussy lable too far, so just sang the words of Katy Perry's "teenage dream" into his ear and kissed him goodbye.
Kapow..
I am no longer 17. I am no longer desperate for any little scrap of love.
I am a Second Base Hussy goddam it, and I will make 2011 the year of kissing boys.
You heard it here first.
Lets zip back a bit and I will tell you a little about my journey thus far, and why I am embracing my new found Hussyness.
So I am single, perpetually it seems like. Not because Im not attractive, not because Im mean, unkind or otherwise personality defective.
I am growing more aware of why, and you know what? Im fine with it, I wouldnt have swapped the past few years for all the men in the world (well, maybe Alan Rickman).
So now, 2011, my 37th year looms and I am excited.
I have found my oomph, my kapow, and I am about to unleash it on New Zealand.
It started with Norm, sorry I know its a naff nom de plume, but really - he deserves it.
This boy has been a long term, crying on each others shoulder friend, he comes with a rap sheet as long as the Amazon river and a string of broken hearts floundering in his wake.
So of course, at the end of last year that little self destruct button dwelling in my breast piped up with "me, me, try hurting me for a change" and before I know it we are embarking on a journey of sillyness.
He was clever.... Hit me with " Ive always been in love with you, lets get married and have 2.5 kids".
As I was reeling from this, simultaneously naming our children and making plans to flee to Sth America, he turns tack.
Spanning the range of ignoring.. beginning with not answering the phone right up to not returning texts.
So I had a choice. Now for a bit of context, this is not the first, second or even third time I have been in this situation. So I did something different for a change.
I dumped his ass, before he could dump mine.
Via Facebook email!
Kapow..
So fast forward to a 3 week holiday in the sun, a roadie with my gay BFF Matt.
He happens to be a therapist so we had a weepy, exultant, intense trip. Processing to the max.
We even had a theme song.
And just like a beautiful butterfly, the new Miss G emerged.
Enter Alex...
Hot, sweet, successful, and guess what? Into me!
He lives in a different city so I didnt have to do the whole "How am I going to turn this into a relationship" thing. I could just enjoy his company and the thrill of the moment.
Dont you love campervan holidays? Matt was passed out in mine, Alex's mate in his.
So we did what any self respecting thirtysomething would... made out in the grass, like teenagers, for 2 hours.
Hence Second Base Hussy.
Then on the way home, Matt and I went out in my home town. This is deserving of a blog post all to itself really, but to be brief...
Bumped into my old crush, he broke my 17 yr old heart by dumping me for a blonde hippy.
He was still lovely, sweet, long brown hair.
This time though, completely into me. I didnt want to push the Hussy lable too far, so just sang the words of Katy Perry's "teenage dream" into his ear and kissed him goodbye.
Kapow..
I am no longer 17. I am no longer desperate for any little scrap of love.
I am a Second Base Hussy goddam it, and I will make 2011 the year of kissing boys.
You heard it here first.
Monday, January 10, 2011
An Explanation..or apology
If you find me, here in cyberspace, I wanted to explain what I am doing, and why on earth I am inflicting myself upon the blogosphere.
I have had other blogs, you are not my first. As much as I love my other blogs I felt that they were just not meeting my needs.
As I rapidly approach my 37th year I have reflected upon my life, namely my lack thereof... dont get me wrong, I have had an amazing life, full of.. well everything really, apart from romantic relationships.
I have had flings,I have had crushes aplenty, I have had medium length relationships.
But never the real thing, and always losing something of myself in the process.
Sometimes my dignity, usually my car keys, and often the one thing that I need the most.
My confidence.
So this little bit of nonsense is my new years resolution, in a diary.
I will relay my adventures anonomously as I forge the rivers of other, whilst clambering up the mountain of self, hopefully eventually sticking a bloody great flag of love in the summit.
I have had other blogs, you are not my first. As much as I love my other blogs I felt that they were just not meeting my needs.
As I rapidly approach my 37th year I have reflected upon my life, namely my lack thereof... dont get me wrong, I have had an amazing life, full of.. well everything really, apart from romantic relationships.
I have had flings,I have had crushes aplenty, I have had medium length relationships.
But never the real thing, and always losing something of myself in the process.
Sometimes my dignity, usually my car keys, and often the one thing that I need the most.
My confidence.
So this little bit of nonsense is my new years resolution, in a diary.
I will relay my adventures anonomously as I forge the rivers of other, whilst clambering up the mountain of self, hopefully eventually sticking a bloody great flag of love in the summit.
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