Monday, February 28, 2011

Our world will never be the same again

It has been a very strange week.
This time last week I was gathered round the nearest Television set watching in horror as Christchurch dissolved into a pile of rubble and dead bodies.
We have had a charmed life here in paradise, we watch with a sense of disconnection when disasters happen in far off countires, but we just couldnt ignore this.
A 6.3 earthquake, in the same place as the 7.1 eathquake in September. All the builduings that proudly withstood that shake came tumbling down, taking with them approx 250 people.
All just like me, on their lunch break, in offices or on buses.

My first thought was for Alex - he lives there. He texted straight back, his house was all but destroyed but he was ok.
Then Andy - his parents live there. He jumped straight into a car and drove the few hundered km's to calm down his poor mum.
My ex boyfriend is a building inspector and was there assesing buildings damaged by the last quake. He is fine, but I can only imagine the things he will have to do in the next few weeks.

So thats us here in NZ - we are all touched by this terrible disaster.
Everything fades into unimportance.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Overcommitted?

EEK,
Its been a long time since I dated properly, and it seems Im quite good at it.
Who would have thought?

So I have two men that I like from internet dating, and that should have been enough..
Oh no, I had to go push my luck and try speed dating again.
I love speed dating, I did it a few years ago and realised that it was my calling. So a few months ago i agreed to go with an aquaintance of mine.
Of course I didnt know then that I would have been so effectively internet dating. But I decided not to let her down ( and forfeit my fee) and do it anyway.
So I went, had a ball, and met three nice men that I "matched" with.
Now what do I do?
I cant date 5 men - thats just greedy.

I think I have decided to date Andy, properly - he is the internet one, as we have a good physical connection, lots in common and he interests me intensely.
The others, although I really like them and there are a couple I find very attractive will just have to be friends.
Gosh darn it.. Its a famine or a feast isnt it?
I suppose there are worse problems to have!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Internet Dating is a state of mind... Tips for the uninitiated

So Ive been internet dating for the past three weeks.
I have been down this road a couple of times before, and was hesitant about trying it again.
I hated every single moment of it last time, I can truly say there was not one positive thing I got out of it, well, maybe a couple of free lunches..
I had men who I liked but didn't like me back, I had men who looked nothing like their picture, I had Ceroc dancers.

But this time - it couldnt be more different.
I have had an absolute ball.
I have two lovely lovely men vying for my time and attention, I have had compliments, smiles galore and everyone I have met have been everything they promised.
And no penis pictures.

So whats changed?
My mind.
The first time I was looking for a husband, the one man who would complete me. There was so much riding on these dates that no wonder the poor buggers jumped the fence before the horse was even out of the gate.
I also made the cardinal mistake of getting into "email relationships", you know, messaging lots and lots, creating a huge false expectation of who this person is, that when you meet them they cant do anything but disappoint you.
So my top tips for successful internet dating?
  • Approach the subject a little lightheartedly.. you are looking for some dates, is all. Dont put pressure on yourself, or them.
  • Meet FAST.. three or four emails tops then ask them if they would like to meet.
  • Put your best photo up, but not one that is airbrushed and looks nothing like you. I have canvassed men and they get really cross if the picture doesnt match the face. False advertising. It would be a wonderful world if looks didnt matter, but they do.
  • The first time you meet a man it is not a date, it is a "meet", no pressure, no expectations, just you meeting a real person.
  • Dont go out for dinner on your first meet - go somewhere that you can make excuses to leave from easily, and that there will not be that whole "who pays" debacle.
  • Look lovely and be lovely, this is first impression time. Dont say a bad word about anything, laugh a lot, flirt a little, if you look like you are having fun they will think you are fun.
  • Dont tell them everything at first, men love a little mystery.
  • Try and think about how the man is feeling, they are just as nervous as you!
Have fun and be safe out there
xx

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dating dilemmas..

Sorry about the lack of postings, seems I may have launched myself back into the dating scene a little too effectively...
My time has been taken up by fitting in dates from the internet.
I am not doing quite as well as my nubile younger friend with the professionally taken photos, however I am holding my own so far.
I have discovered that interent dating is all well and good when you are at the meet em once and figure out if there is a spark, but then, if there is.. it starts getting ethically murky.

So I met a guy, cute, same star sign, enough things in common to click, enough things different to have a spark.
We arranged a second date at the end of the first date and had a lovely time, bit of kissing, nothing too saucy, lots of sweet text messages etc etc.
So now what?
Does this mean I am "taken" and must commit to solely dating? It seems kiwi men dont like the idea of multiple dating - but I feel its too soon to know whether I want this guy to be my boyfriend.
He however has taken himself off the dating site  -  he hasnt told me this, I found out when I clicked onto his profile.
I however have arranged a "meet" for tonight with someone else.
Does that make me a hussy?
I framed up this date by stating in a message that i had started seeing someone but didnt know where it was going, but would like to meet him anyway as he sounded lovely.
He sounded like he had a few reservations but wanted to meet me anyway.
So question number two is How up front should I be about this stuff? Do I just assume the fall back position is everyone is multiple dating unless told otherwise?
Help me guys...