Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Second Base Hussy

The moment Matt embued me with this mantle I just knew it would make a great Blog title.

Lets zip back a bit and I will tell you a little about my journey thus far, and why I am embracing my new found Hussyness.
So I am single, perpetually it seems like. Not because Im not attractive, not because Im mean, unkind or otherwise personality defective.
I am growing more aware of why, and you know what? Im fine with it, I wouldnt have swapped the past few years for all the men in the world (well, maybe Alan Rickman).
So now, 2011, my 37th year looms and I am excited.
I have found my oomph, my kapow, and I am about to unleash it on New Zealand.

It started with Norm, sorry I know its a naff nom de plume, but really - he deserves it.
This boy has been a long term, crying on each others shoulder friend, he comes with a rap sheet as long as the Amazon river and a string of broken hearts floundering in his wake.
So of course, at the end of last year that little self destruct button dwelling in my breast piped up with "me, me, try hurting me for a change" and before I know it we are embarking on a journey of sillyness.
He was clever.... Hit me with " Ive always been in love with you, lets get married and have 2.5 kids".
As I was reeling from this, simultaneously naming our children and making plans to flee to Sth America, he turns tack.
Spanning the range of ignoring.. beginning with not answering the phone right up to not returning texts.

So I had a choice. Now for a bit of context, this is not the first, second or even third time I have been in this situation. So I did something different for a change.
I dumped his ass, before he could dump mine.
Via Facebook email!

So fast forward to a 3 week holiday in the sun, a roadie with my gay BFF Matt.
He happens to be a therapist so we had a weepy, exultant, intense trip. Processing to the max.
We even had a theme song.
And just like a beautiful butterfly, the new Miss G emerged.
Enter Alex...

Hot, sweet, successful, and guess what? Into me!
He lives in a different city so I didnt have to do the whole "How am I going to turn this into a relationship" thing. I could just enjoy his company and the thrill of the moment.
Dont you love campervan holidays? Matt was passed out in mine, Alex's mate in his.
So we did what any self respecting thirtysomething would... made out in the grass, like teenagers, for 2 hours.
Hence Second Base Hussy.

Then on the way home, Matt and I went out in my home town. This is deserving of a blog post all to itself really, but to be brief...
Bumped into my old crush, he broke my 17 yr old heart by dumping me for a blonde hippy.
He was still lovely, sweet, long brown hair.
This time though, completely into me. I didnt want to push the Hussy lable too far, so just sang the words of Katy Perry's "teenage dream" into his ear and kissed him goodbye.

I am no longer 17. I am no longer desperate for any little scrap of love.
I am a Second Base Hussy goddam it, and I will make 2011 the year of kissing boys.
You heard it here first.


  1. I relate completely! I'm Natalie, welcome to the wonderful world of blog :)

  2. Thanks Natalie! I'm looking forward to bonding with everyone over boy troubles, and joys of course! Love your blog by the way

  3. I love it - here is to kissing boys in 2011, I think it will be a swell year for that.

  4. Its going to be the PERFECT year for boy kissing, I have set myself a goal of kissing three..
    Lets do it!

  5. woot woot! The year of kissing! I love it, I'm stealing it!....welll not your boys, but the idea. :)