Sunday, February 13, 2011

Internet Dating is a state of mind... Tips for the uninitiated

So Ive been internet dating for the past three weeks.
I have been down this road a couple of times before, and was hesitant about trying it again.
I hated every single moment of it last time, I can truly say there was not one positive thing I got out of it, well, maybe a couple of free lunches..
I had men who I liked but didn't like me back, I had men who looked nothing like their picture, I had Ceroc dancers.

But this time - it couldnt be more different.
I have had an absolute ball.
I have two lovely lovely men vying for my time and attention, I have had compliments, smiles galore and everyone I have met have been everything they promised.
And no penis pictures.

So whats changed?
My mind.
The first time I was looking for a husband, the one man who would complete me. There was so much riding on these dates that no wonder the poor buggers jumped the fence before the horse was even out of the gate.
I also made the cardinal mistake of getting into "email relationships", you know, messaging lots and lots, creating a huge false expectation of who this person is, that when you meet them they cant do anything but disappoint you.
So my top tips for successful internet dating?
  • Approach the subject a little lightheartedly.. you are looking for some dates, is all. Dont put pressure on yourself, or them.
  • Meet FAST.. three or four emails tops then ask them if they would like to meet.
  • Put your best photo up, but not one that is airbrushed and looks nothing like you. I have canvassed men and they get really cross if the picture doesnt match the face. False advertising. It would be a wonderful world if looks didnt matter, but they do.
  • The first time you meet a man it is not a date, it is a "meet", no pressure, no expectations, just you meeting a real person.
  • Dont go out for dinner on your first meet - go somewhere that you can make excuses to leave from easily, and that there will not be that whole "who pays" debacle.
  • Look lovely and be lovely, this is first impression time. Dont say a bad word about anything, laugh a lot, flirt a little, if you look like you are having fun they will think you are fun.
  • Dont tell them everything at first, men love a little mystery.
  • Try and think about how the man is feeling, they are just as nervous as you!
Have fun and be safe out there

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